Boy? No, Boyfriend

I apologize, my fellow readers; I haven't been active lately. As many of you know, I'm a sophomore, well, now a rising junior, but the last two months of the year consist of crying, lots of studying, and my least favorite, finals. But alas, I'm back and ready.

You know, relationships used to be a joke, and the most people did was a peck, and we would call that hooking up? All of a sudden, I'm not twelve anymore, and boys aren't afraid to hug. I used to make fun of people my age in relationships. "Oh, it's a joke, "the feelings aren't real."But all of a sudden, the characters you watch on television, the ones who are in these real, raw, and loving relationships, are your age. Because what do you mean that Ginny is a sophomore, having sex, and doing weed, when I spend my weekends watching movies with my dad? I know it's fiction and the actress is definitely pushing thirty, but am I behind?

I feel odd saying I'm content with myself. I am content, but I wouldn't mind more. It's like my glass is 100% full, but I wouldn't mind another drop. I want the first time. I want young love, but where is it without the Snapchat and the hook-ups? The funny thing is, is that it could be terrible, but I would still love to achieve that milestone. How am I sixteen years of age, and nothing remotely romantic has crossed my path? Twelve-year-old me would not be proud, but sixteen-year-old me is a tad bit more realistic. I have two more years of high school left, so is it studying or dating? I'm asking myself a ton of questions as if I have to make a sacrifice, when in reality, both should work equally.

I want the relationship more than the boy. I treat my life like a novel, and the rising action has been dull. My deceased grandparents need something to watch. I see girls on Instagram all the time with boyfriends in someone's basement with those red solo cups in the background. I compare myself all the time to people I don't know; it's almost like I want to hate my life, because if I don't, I don't feel normal. Maybe I'm not content, maybe I'm just happy. I want to go out on dates. I want to watch movies in my bed with them. I want to have a Valentine. See how I didn't say a boy, that's because I like the concept, but I have no one to put into it.

My verdict is no, he isn't necessary, in fact, in my case, it is a materialistic decision. It's funny, as I write, I realize my true motives. Who needs therapy when you have a keyboard? Love you, and stay single, beautiful.